Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to do the chopping.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
You only need two tools in life - WD40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
And... if you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.
DAILY THOUGHT: Some people are like slinkies; not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
-- Rec'd the above via email & had to pass along.